I am particularly interested in helping people struggling with the ongoing effects of adverse childhood experiences. Often they have never really felt whole, truly acceptable, safe or at peace. Much too often they blame themselves for what was actually done to them.
Years after the adverse experiences have ended the effects can live on. The ways they developed to stay as safe as possible, that were normal adaptations to abnormal circumstances, remain with them. The problem is these ways often operate in the present as if it's still the past. In fact, for many the past is like a shadow, always with them and not really past, more like right behind. And that means it can over determine their present experience.
"The past is never dead. It’s not even past." William Faulkner
Many feel that there is little that can be done to change these things. What’s the point of talking about the past they tell me, you cannot change it.
Healing from the residual effects of adverse childhood experience needs to go beyond talking about it. The effects live on in the nervous system and the body. You learned how to survive in dangerous, neglectful circumstances but not how to live comfortably in otherwise normal, relatively safe ones. Your fear system needs to be attuned to current circumstances and skills you never had the chance to learn need to be acquired. Over time you unlearn the ways that once served your very survival, but now are often overreactions to otherwise relatively safe situations. You acquire skills that are foundational to success in relationships, career and life in general.
The healing process does not have to involve reliving the past. In fact, we try to avoid that at all costs. But there’s no sugar coating this journey, it is hard and often painful. Despite this, many choose to take it rather than stay mired in the fear and pain of the past. You are a survivor. Your struggle is part of your story. Good trauma therapy helps make your story truly yours. You become the author of your own life, rather than the ghosts of your past.
I have helped many take this journey successfully. If you think you are ready, I would like to help you as well.