Couples Counseling

What I Do

In couples counseling I work with you and your partner to improve communication and problem solving skills. Love and affection is revitalized through a process of mutual sharing that builds trust and understanding. You expand and grow your knowledge and appreciation of each other as individuals with different needs, desires, expectations and ways of expressing love, support and interest.

Through this work you become less defensive and more open and trusting. You learn how to effectively manage the natural anxiety and fears that intimate relationships generate. You begin to use humor, affection and compassion when dealing with differences that require ongoing communication and adjustments.

You leave with a fuller awareness and appreciation of yourself and your partner and with skills that nurture and grow a satisfying, resilient and loving relationship.

You build bridges instead of walls.

Is This You?

Even seemingly safe topics feel loaded with tension. Everything you say causes a negative, often attacking response from your partner. This hurts and makes you angry. You fight and never seem to resolve anything. Then you both shutdown. The walls go up.

Upset couple

You feel neglected by and unimportant to your partner. You do not feel respected, understood or truly heard. They are emotionally unavailable or quickly become so. You try to connect, but they pull away, shut down or lash out. Too often the only connection you seem to have is angry and hurtful. You want to spend more time together, they want more time apart. You feel the distance growing between you and are seemingly powerless to stop it. You feel more like a roommate than a lover. You seem to be living parallel lives.

The Problem

The deeper problems in your relationship are the result of what have become inflexible and defensive ways of interacting. Anger and fear have replaced openness and trust which has led to rigid ways of responding to one another.

The problem lies between you, in the rigid interactive pattern you can't seem to change. That pattern has emerged over time as each of you acted on your beliefs and expectations about how to be in a relationship. Both of you, at least in the beginning, were likely acting in good faith and with the best of intentions, but the combined efforts, ironically, produced vinegar instead of honey.

Upset couple2

Very often I find that both people are, deep down underneath the anger, fear and sadness, feeling thoroughly unappreciated, judged, abandoned and alone. And often they both want the same thing - to feel they are important, accepted, and cherished. They want to know they can count on their partner to be there for them. But they don't know how to break out of the pattern.

I have helped many couples get their relationships back on track. If you need a little help, get in touch to set up a free get acquainted appointment.

Get In Touch

The fit between you and your therapist is one of the most important elements in successful therapy. To get a sense of how we would work together, I offer a no fee, 30-minute, get acquainted session. Contact me or click on the Schedule button and choose a 30 minute event.

Or Send a Message

Office Hours:

Tuesday - Thursday: 10am - 6pm
Friday: 10am - 5pm
Saturday: 9am - 1pm

Fees & Insurance:

My fee is $125 dollars per session, and I offer a sliding scale for those needing some help with the costs of therapy. Fees are paid at the end of the session. I'm currently in-network for: Regence, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, First Choice Health, Group Health (certain plans), and Premera Blue Cross. I can also bill as Out of Network.